The Taming of the Shrew
by Al Kristopher
Summary: Loosely based on the Shakespeare play. Percival is in love with Chris, but he has to get through Lilly first! Is there any man in Budehuc brave enough to go out with this wild woman, and if so, can they tame her?


Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor it ain't. I don't own Suikoden or Shakespeare's works, but if I did, I would share the wealth with all my friends. No, really!

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For Kate, who is anything but a shrew.

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The Taming of the Shrew

By Al Kristopher

Adapted from the play by W. Shakespeare

The first time that Percival had ever met the lovely young lady the Runes named Chris, it was a sight that defied every bit of logic in his logical mind. She was an image of perfect beauty, decorum, strength, love, kindness, and virtue, a practical goddess on earth, and though she had been sought by countless other men before, Sir Percival was perhaps the only man that ever stood much of any chance in attaining her favor. He had wanted to serenade her for a long time, especially after their brief moment of faux intimacy in Iksay Village, but there were some problems interfering with his interests.

Lady Chris was one of the few real friends that a young lady named Lilly Pendragon actually had. They had been bitter enemies in the past, during a particularly violent Zexen Federation Day Ball, but through some odd circumstance, they were now on very good terms with each other. They were both the same age, though their personalities were as different as day and night. There was no question that Lilly was a beauty, but her selfishness and reckless behavior basically made her a disaster to be around.

No man, sane or otherwise, wanted to even be within range of Lilly, unless her mouth was shut. The woman could devastate anything with her sharp tongue--poor Samus and Reed could testify to this--and any hopeful suitor that once held interest towards her would have been dissuaded first chance they were given. Lilly was conceited and vain, and expected everything to go her way or else. She could be violent as well, and cruel, and completely inconsiderate of other people. She rarely worked, and let others do the fighting for her in battle. Worst of all, she was friends with Lady Chris, and this was Percival's biggest problem.

Because of their unusual but close relationship, Lilly vehemently stated to any suitor that she would never allow her friend to be courted by any man, unless she herself was courted first. This news was worse than any apocalyptic prophecy; to attempt to charm Lilly, one would need to be as smooth as Gordon, as fearless as Cecile, and as patient as Salome. They would also have to have the constitution of a shark, and the ability to tone out anything she shrieked--all the while keeping in mind that some other man would be courting Chris the very second that Lilly seemed occupied.

And so, Chris' multitude of suitors, Percival especially, found themselves in far worse a dilemma than anything they had faced before. He desperately wanted to be near his Lady, and would have done anything for the silvery-haired goddess, but to find a man brave enough, tough enough, and stupid--erm, _willing_ enough to swoon Lilly, he would be asking the impossible. It would have been easier to turn a block of cheese into the Soul Eater Rune by simply staring at it long enough, rather than finding some poor chum to do everyone's dirty work. After all, where would he find such a man…?

----------

"Rico, hurry up!"

"I'm trying, master!! Wait for me!"

"It's only five laps around the castle! We both used to be able to accomplish that without any problems! What's wrong?"

"I… can't… run… anymore!!"

"Rico!!" Poor Fred Maximilian, decked out in full battle gear, turned around and waited impatiently for his porter, Rico Panza. The younger girl usually wasn't as poky as she was this time around, even with all that luggage on her back, but they had both been slacking in their training exercises ever since leaving the Torin Republic. Fred actually caught his breath and recovered from whatever weariness he had by the time Rico caught up with him.

"I'm… here… master… Fred…" she wheezed, nearly collapsing on the ground from exhaustion. Fred was breathing hard, but because of his impatience.

"Rico!! A Maximilian Knight doesn't get tired after only two laps! You and I both used to be able to do so much more than that, and it's not like any of that stuff you're carrying is heavy!"

"N-no, sir!" she exclaimed in agreement, even though she began to feel like she had been carrying Mt. Senai the whole time. "I… I'm just tired… I haven't been running like this for awhile. I guess I let the castle life get to me…"

"No," sighed Fred, covering his face, "it's my fault for neglecting our training. I've been slacking off too much. I'm going to have to redouble my efforts in order to keep in shape! Come on, Rico! We should do five _more_ laps!"

"FIVE MORE?" she shrieked. Rico was utterly loyal to her master Fred, but even she questioned his word sometimes. "But master! That's more laps than we're used to doing!"

"Yes! And we're going to do it all!" Fred ran off ahead of his porter, leaving poor Rico behind. The stout young woman whined in protest, yet ran off after him anyway, her lungs on fire and her back feeling terrible. Oh, the things she did for the Maximilian Knights…

After cleaning up from their exercises, Fred and Rico went straight to the castle tavern, giving a silent greeting to Toppo, Nei, and Shabon, and eyeing Nadir just slightly before turning their attention to Anne. Sitting across to them, close to the stage as always, was the best rider of the Zexen Knights, the dashing Percival. He was moping.

"Something hot for me and something cold for her, please," said Fred to the Karayan tender. She gave him a sweet smile that would sadly never penetrate that focused shell of his, and gave both knights their beverage of choice. Rico offered a toothy smile in Fred's stead, and toasted to their health and the health of all knights everywhere. Those last words caught the attention of Percival, who just happened to have a title.

"Oh, hello there," he greeted lamely. "Have the two of you been out training again?"

"Yes, Lord Percival!" stated Fred with a sharp nod. "We must not allow our bodies to grow accustomed to laziness. I wonder if you would like to join us sometime, so we may learn from the Zexens."

"And you might learn something from us!" added a chipper Rico. Percival gave her a weak smile.

"Mm, perhaps." He ended the conversation there, and returned his dreary stare to the glass of hard wine he had drained. Anne read his thoughts and refilled it, and half was already finished before Fred and Rico took their first sip. Even the thick skull of the new Maximilian Knight Captain could interpret that something was amiss with his fellow knight.

"I can sense that there's something wrong with you," said Fred. "I usually don't interfere in a man's affairs or in those of a knight, but when I see somebody drinking something that hard with that speed, something's amiss. Care to let me in on anything?"

"Talking about it just may relieve me," sighed Percival. Anne, who had heard his tired old story a hundred times before, tuned out his song and cared for Aila, who had just came inside for some soda. Percival began his story with the inevitable, "It's about Lady Chris…"

"It's _always_ about Lady Chris," muttered Aila. Percival shot her a nasty look, but she was on the other side of the bar and thus did not receive it.

"…Anyway," he continued, "I suppose it's become public knowledge that I bear great feelings for her. I wish to… erm… well, you know… I would like to… tell her… and see if she feels the same… and maybe we could… well…"

"I think I understand," said Fred. "You're afraid that she won't return your feelings. But this is Lady Chris Lightfellow we're talking about; the _Captain_ of the Zexen knights. If you were my subordinate, and you revealed feelings towards me--erm, and if you were a woman… I don't know how I would react."

"Maybe we should find out?" said Rico, her mouth in such a big smile that even Fred knew she was joking. He snorted anyway.

"Hmph… I know how much you care for me, Rico, but this is almost the same relationship that your father had with my grandfather--except you're a girl, and we're both much younger than they were. Anyway, Sir Percival, I'm sure that she would not repel the advances of so noble a gentleman as you. It would not be within her best interest."

"But that's not the problem," said Percival as he lazily held his glass in the air so he could stare at it better. "Expressing myself will be easy; it's executing the prerequisite that shall be difficult."

"I don't understand. Is there some obstacle in your path?"

"A hole in the ground is an obstacle, Sir Fred," stated Percival emptily. "A _mountain_ is an obstacle. The one called Lilly Pendragon, however, is an uncontrollable force of nature. _She_ stands before me, as a stubborn friend of my dear Lady."

"I don't see why she would if she was her friend," said Rico. "Besides, you're making Lilly seem like she's worse than she really is. I'm sure that once you got to know her, then she'd--" Rico suddenly interrupted herself, paused, and stared down into her drink. "Well," she continued after some hesitation, "Reed and Samus have known her for awhile, and they look miserable…"

"Tell me what exactly is the problem, please," requested Fred. "Perhaps I can help. I'm sure that Miss Lilly isn't as belligerent as--"

"My problem is that she refuses to allow anyone to court Lady Chris unless she herself finds a suitor herself," sighed Percival wearily. "That's the 'deal'. No man in this castle is brave enough to commit himself to such a thing, and if he were, than I have yet to find him."

An unnoticeable pause hung for the briefest of seconds before the dark-haired man continued.

"Unless…"

"I don't have any suggestions for you, Sir Percival," said Fred before the older man could continue. Percival slowly turned his head and made the young knight the newest object of his stare. Slowly, a look of manipulating cruelty, bubbling genius, and sheer craftiness was painted on his face, until he had an almost devilish look. Percival had a very nasty plan in store, and it involved the person his eyes were looking directly at.

"My dear friend, you may have accidentally answered my prayers," he sang softly. Fred looked up from his drink and gave Percival a confused stare, so he elaborated. "Sir Frederick Maximilian, how would you like to spend a few quiet, perhaps even romantic evenings with a beautiful young lady? I know that milord is around that point in his life when he will be searching for a damsel to fight for and protect, and I think I have just the fair maiden in mind."

"Oh, boy…" groaned Rico softly. "I already know what you have in mind…"

"Quiet, Rico!" whispered Fred. His attention then focused on Percival, and he said, "What exactly do you have in mind?"

"You would like to help me out?"

"In any way I can; this is the duty of the Maximilian knights."

"Perfect," sang the elder knight with a grin. "You can help me out by taking the lovely Lilly Pendragon out for a few quiet evenings together, just the two of you in sweet privacy. I may even have a few of my friends helping you out. In turn, I will finally have the heart of the woman I have longed for all these years, and you will certainly not go without compensation. Miss Pendragon has exceptional beauty and taste…"

Rico made a face, and gave her master a look of concern, wondering if he would actually go through with it. It was true that she cared for him--not in a romantic way, but still--and since she cared for him, she wanted the best for him. Rico was smarter than her personality allowed her, and wasn't quite sure whether this "deal" was really all it was cracked up to be. Her opinion would matter little to Fred, who had already made his choice.

"It seems like a fair proposal," he said at last. "Though I don't know what will come of it from our part. I hope that at least you are put into happiness. I will enjoy this time with the Lady Lilly as promised, and we shall see what comes of it. Very well, then, I shall go see her at once. Rico?"

"Y-yes, Master?" Her heart was crushed a little (because she felt that Fred had made a bad choice), but she tried not to show it.

"You may take the rest of the day off, but make sure all my preparations are in order. I would like to have a change of clothes before I go out this evening."

"O-of course…" She ran off ahead of him, bidding everyone within earshot a good day, and he did the same soon afterwards. Once the two young knights were away, Percival grew back his sly smile, and toasted to his own genius with a final sip of wine.

Anne rolled her eyes, and hoped that Fred would be able to survive.

---------------

Lilly Pendragon was in a rather bad mood, more so than usual, but for once she almost made herself seem selfless. Borus and Nash had been milling around Chris' room for some time now, the former muttering something about "Yumi told me to come up here," and the latter soundly expressing his marital status in defense. As "harmless" as their appearances were, Lilly gave them both a glare and shooed them away.

"Lady Chris shall not be disturbed until I find myself with a suitable boyfriend!" she stated sharply. Nash argued with her again, but was thrown clear out of the hallway by Lilly. Borus, slightly more refined, guided himself away and resolved to reading Arthur's newspaper articles very very slowly, giving Lilly the time she needed to cool off. The young Pendragon gave off a _humph_ and turned back towards Chris' room, keeping watch over it in Nash's stead. The only person she would allow to pass would have been Thomas himself, and none other.

Meanwhile, Fred Maximilian was walking quite casually up the stairs, mostly unaware of the squall that awaited him. He was a thickheaded young man, a bit brash and anxious, and a little more concerned about his duties than most other things, so he was largely unaware of Lilly's infamous disposition. He mounted the stairs and noticed the young lady down the hall, standing "guard" over Chris' room. Fred recalled Percival saying something about her being friends with the silver maiden, so perhaps she was waiting to have a talk with the woman…? To break the ice, Fred found out.

"Good day to you, Miss Lilly!" he exclaimed with a small nod. "What are you doing back here? You usually set yourself on the banister of the second floor, just around the suggestion box. Do you wish to speak with Lady Chris?"

"No, I'm just making sure that she isn't bothered today," she replied as amicably as she could. "Lady Chris has enough responsibilities on her shoulders, so she shouldn't have to be bothered by these swarms of suitors! Besides, I don't think it's fair that she gets to have all these admirers, when I'm out here all by myself! I'm as pretty and elegant as her, aren't I?"

"Well, erm, I…"

"You'd better say that I am!" she exclaimed, pointing a rather dangerous finger at him. Undaunted, Fred pursed his lips and took a deeper bow.

"There is indeed a loveliness and grace within you," he said. "You have a sweet song when you speak, and put all flowers to shame with a smile. The winds compete to blow in your silky copper hair, and I have seen people gazing at you with longing. No, what you say has truth in it. There is no justice in this world when two women, equal in beauty and gallantry, are being treated so dissimilarly."

A pause.

"…Say what?" managed a flushed Lilly. She never had anybody talk to her like _that_ before.

"I mean to say that I agree with you," he reiterated. "And I would like to solve that problem, if you'll let me?"

"……How?" she asked, her fair face flushed faintly. Fred fell forward fiercely, framing feminine fingers, fumbling to fold and fuse.

"I do not like to see a noble damsel in such distress," he said, with more surprise honesty than most people would believe. "Allow me to treat you as those others treat Lady Chris, and hopefully your rue towards others shall not live long."

"Okay," she grinned, her cheeks rosy, "I have no idea what you just said, but I'll do it anyway!"

"I would like to treat you well this evening," he said with a soft smile. Lilly bared her teeth in a girlish grin, and allowed her to take his hand as they both descended the staircase. Fred had lived most of his adolescence as a knight in training, and up until then, had never been one for romance or even quiet evenings spent with women. He found himself to be awfully good at it, though, as did Lilly, who was not lying when she said that no suitors ever knocked on her door.

Seeing Lilly and Fred walking side by side out of the castle and towards the outdoor café, Percival smiled victoriously and thanked the heavens and his new friend for their contributions. He then marched back up those same stairs that were once guarded so well by Lilly, and headed towards the room of the woman he loved so secretly. Now, with no shrew to stand in his way, he could finally………

Rico, however, decided to follow her master. She had a bad feeling about all this.

Mamie silently raised one of her eyebrows as she spotted Fred leading a red-faced and smiling Lilly towards her café. With great care, silence, and observation, she gingerly put down the scoop she had been using, and slowly polished the counter as if she had eons to do it. If stranger things had happened before, she hadn't seen them yet.

"Good day! Lady Mamie, I would like to have your absolute finest dinner for this evening!" stated Fred in his usual orderly voice. Mamie was absolutely silent as she rang something up, and went into the kitchen to cook. As long as she didn't ask or interfere, she couldn't get involved in anything--that was her outlook. Meanwhile, Fred had guided Lilly to the best table he could find, a whitewashed assembly perched on a spot that overlooked the great lake that the castle had been set upon.

"Dear Lilly, forgive these humble surroundings," he begged of her as he pulled chairs out. "This is unfortunately the best place to eat, and… GOOD LORD!!!"

"What? What is it?" Lilly froze in place, her bottom halfway towards the chair. Fred's face turned pale as he jerked the chair away from her.

"Such filth!" he cried out, screaming in horror. "Look at all this dust and dirt! Leaves and twigs have been blown all over, and I'm sure several grotesque insects and worms have crawled on it! And I don't even want to think about the table!"

"But it looks fine to me," said Lilly plainly. Fred, however, would have none of it.

"You shall not soil yourself on such a wicked machine! Stand up, my Lilly, though I hate for you to suffer on your feet! It's a better fate than staining that beautiful clothing you have been given!"

"What, this?" She gave her clothes a good tug and found them in no better shape than the chair she had almost sat on. "These? They're my traveling clothes. All my good stuff is back in Tinto, except for one pink dress I liked. What, did you think I would stain my best clothes on the journey?"

"And you have nothing to wear that will suit you either?!" he shrieked. "Egads! Is this world so cruel that they would deny so many simple pleasures to its greatest treasure! Astounding! Here, wait here, fair damsel, and I'll fix this as best I can! Rico! Come here! I know you've been following us!"

Upon hearing her voice called, Rico jumped in surprise, giving out a little squeak. She immediately scampered over to him, her cover completely blown by his observant nature, and gave him a little bow. Fred wasn't angry at her, but he did send her to Scott's trading post as punishment for following them. He gave her a bag full of potch, and told her to buy the best dress that she could find. Trusting a woman's judgment over his own, he sent Rico on her way and gave Lilly a sad sigh.

"I truly apologize," he moaned. "It seems as if you're being treated so poorly, beautiful one. All you require is the love and admiration of many, and a good way to express your beauty by what you wear, and the best food, and a clean place to rest on. A curse that I can't find any of it around here!!!!"

"You…" Lilly froze for awhile, giving her unlikely suitor a rather watery smile, and held her hands out in meek protest. "You don't have to go through all this trouble… It's not that big of a deal…"

"Nonsense!" he argued fiercely. "This is all appalling! And where is that food? Miss Mamie?"

"Right here!" she called. Mamie personally hefted the large tray of food towards the couple, and set it on the table (making sure to keep them on the trays, since she overheard some rubbish about her tables being dirty. If that was a fact, then Rhett and Wilder would get a nasty scolding). She gave them both a bow, and discreetly tucked the bill beneath one of the trays. Fred and Lilly both thanked her, and with the excitement of a child during winter holidays, Lilly picked up her fork and dove straight towards the bird first.

"Stop!" shouted Fred, grasping hold of her hand. Lilly gave him an angry look.

"What?? What is it? I'm starving!"

"As am I, but this has gone on too far!" he stated madly. "Mamie! Mamie, come here! This meat is undercooked!"

"Are you SERIOUS?!" screamed the poor chef. Mamie bolted towards the table and cut open the fowl, showing both Fred and Lilly that her bird was of the right temperature. "There, see? It's perfect! I always make sure that my birds are cooked just right!"

"But this cannot be!" argued Fred. "It's all pink on the inside! Do you want us to get cholera or salmonella? And this corn is still cold! I wouldn't feed that to Koroku!"

"It is NOT!"

"The green beans look soggy… the potato slices are too hard… the dessert is way too fattening… this soup looks too watery… and the salad looks to be a bit dry! What are you trying to do to us?"

"Fred, it's fine!" stated Lilly in an attempt to get through his infamously-thick skull. "Look, it's perfectly fine! I've had far worse than this in Tinto, with my father's own chefs! Marlowe himself told me that only Hai Yo and the other Black Dragon chefs could have exceeded Tinto cuisine! Look, I don't mind!" Fred sighed sadly, and gazed into Lilly's deceptively-soft eyes with his own.

"Lillian… I know that for a common woman, this meal would suffice… But you are an image of beauty and grace, as you said so yourself! You deserve to have the absolute best out of everything! Why, you are Mayor Gustav's daughter! Why do you insist on settling for things beneath your upbringing?"

"Because I'm _hungry_, that's why!" she screamed. "And I don't like to stand up while I'm eating! And my clothes are perfectly fine!!"

"And I am just as hungry and tired as you are, fair damsel," he said as gently as he could. "But I would rather stand up and fast than submit myself, OR you, to such barbaric acts. Mamie, please take this food away and feed it to somebody else. If you have the skill, I would like to dine upon something more suitable to milady's tastes." Mamie gave Fred a bitter look, one as nasty and dangerous as Lilly's had once been, but she kept her tongue and took the food away. She eventually gave it to Ace and Joker, who declared the meal superb.

Meanwhile, Rico had just returned from Scott's trading post, her arms carefully lugging a gorgeous blue dress made entirely out of silk. It was the kind of thing meant only for the highest-ranking people, and only on the best days of the year, and it took everything in the bag of potch and more to purchase it. Scott was rather adamant about Rico having it (even more so when he learned that Lilly Pendragon would be owning it), but business was business and so the two parted.

Fred, meanwhile, was honestly moping about how bad the day was proceeding, and made several quiet apologies to Lilly. She was nearly beside herself with surprise (and hunger), and pondered whether to be completely flattered that somebody would care so much, or to completely flatten Fred underneath the table he so despised. When Rico arrived, she found them both moping, so she cleared her throat and offered the dress.

"Ah!" exclaimed Fred with a smile. "Now we're getting somewhere! Excellent job, Rico! I don't think Gordon himself could have chosen better! Lilly, how do you like it? It seems as if the Runes have spared us at least one disaster!" Lilly smiled with relief, and walked over to give the dress a quick try. She placed it over her clothes, holding it up to see how she would fit into it.

"Hmm… I love it, but it's a little big and wide for me. No matter…"

"What?!" Fred dashed over and looked at the dress for himself, and did indeed notice that it was a size too big. It would have fit Lady Chris' figure well, but Lilly was shorter and thinner, and the difference showed in the silk. Fred was so aghast with rage that he didn't even speak for awhile.

"This is preposterous!" he finally screamed. "This thing is too big! Rico! How could you?"

"It was the only one they had!" she argued helplessly. "Besides, I don't know her size!" Fred glared at his porter for but a second, then redirected his anger to a more practical outlet.

"That vile trader! Take it back then, Rico, and get a refund! I'll not have milady wearing something disproportioned to her size! What would happen if it were to slip or sag? She would be brutally humiliated! Take it back now, Rico! I can't stand the sight of it!" The poor young woman let out a groan, but did as her master asked. She knew that Scott would be in an even worse shape, but it had to be done. Meanwhile, Lilly was almost in tears.

"Frederick! Why did you do that? I loved that dress! I would have grown into it! …I think!"

"I can't have my lady wearing something of incorrect size!" he stated. "It just does not make sense! Whether small or large, nothing should be given to you unless it matches your figure! Now things are even worse than they were before!"

"But it was perfectly fine!" she argued. "So what if it was a little big? I've been meaning to add a few pounds to this thin little body anyway!"

"It was unsatisfactory; I apologize," sighed Fred wearily. His eyes told Lilly that he was genuinely sorry, and that he was actually more hurt than she was. "I'm sorry that our first evening together had to end up so badly. Nothing went right at all…" In desperation, Lilly grabbed his hands, just as he had held hers before, and looked him square in the eye. She actually had an air of humility around her, perhaps for the first time ever.

"Frederick… please, I really don't mind. I don't mind anymore. I know you're genuine about all this--I'm totally surprised by how much you really care for me. Only my papa's ever cared for me that much, and maybe… maybe Chris too, but that's it. Samus and Reed just don't seem to enjoy my company, even though I try to liven everything up. You're the only one who's ever cared about my well-being before… and… and it stinks!! Fred, you need to stop it!" she exclaimed. "I know you mean well but it hurts!"

"Are you angry at me?" he wondered. "I swear that if it takes my own talents, I will make up to you the errors of this bad day!"

"That's not necessary!" she argued with a smile. "Fred… gosh! Are you trying to prove something? Are you trying to prove that I am too good for this world?"

"You aren't?" Lilly froze, and at that moment, recalled every single moment of selfishness that she had ever taken part in. She never thought that somebody would ever encourage any of that, let alone somebody would ever take it to the next level. She gave Fred a sweet, sad smile, and let her heart melt for the handsome young man.

"No, I'm not. I'm… not perfect, Fred. I'm not the goddess you think I am."

"But I think you are."

"Then I am!" she nearly screamed. "But please, do not kill me with such endless kindness. This is more than I can bear. I thought that this was all that I wanted, but… I hate to sound all goofy and sappy, but it's not. I… I want good stuff, sure, but… I'm flexible, Fred. You don't have to give me perfection all the time. You're sweet, too sweet for my tastes, and I can't stand it."

"But…"

"Just give me a rotten minute to talk, Fred," she sang, smiling at him warmly. "I don't care anymore. I don't care. Let _me_ be the judge of whether or not anything's good enough for me. You… don't need to blindly serve me all the time. Just… enough to make me feel special. But not _too_ special, okay?" Fred Maximilian smiled warmly, erasing his stoic face for one of admiration and respect, and kissed her hand like she was still the delicate maiden he made her out to be.

"That, too, shall be a wish of yours that I will grant."

"Thank you, good knight." They both shared a smile, and even though they both were hungry, they left Mamie's café and headed back to the castle, since it was getting late. Fred escorted Lilly all the way to her room, and gave her cheek a polite kiss good-night as they parted. Lilly lavished herself in every ounce of heavenly comfort that the rock-hard bed had to give her, and never recalled sleeping quite as sound as she had since then.

----------

Percival, Fred, Borus, and Jacques were all seated around a circular table like the knights of old, taking and bragging and having a good time as all men do (Jacques, as always, remained silent and stoic). Percival was boasting of his new relationship with Chris, which seemed to flourish according to him. Borus didn't have anything to say, except that the woman whom he fancied was of equal beauty and virtue. Jacques said little, commenting on how good the drinks were from time to time, and Fred spoke of his grandfather's escapades. Eventually, the topic turned to making fun of the youngest knight.

"So I hear that you took the arrow for Percy here," pointed Borus. Percival's face was neutral; so was Fred's (Jacques was a given). "How is it anyway, dating that dragon of a woman? Better or worse than hugging a porcupine?"

"I will ask you not to insult my lady any further," stated Fred in a very dead voice. Borus mumbled an apology and focused his look towards Percival, who agreed with Fred.

"Yes, don't make fun of the brave man!" he sang. "This knight of knights has done something impossible, by taking Miss Lilly out of my way briefly. A million toasts and songs should be written about him!"

"…Pity we would never hear them all," said Jacques in his neutral voice. Fred smirked but said nothing.

"And what of Lady Chris?" wondered Borus. "Was she truly worth the trouble?"

"All that and more, dear friend," smiled a victorious knight. The blonde shrugged.

"Not that I care, what with my own love interest. I suppose your relationship runs smooth?"

"As silk."

"Really? Do tell. You know, I would like to make a wager on that." Percival smiled.

"I'm listening."

"I would like to put down 100 potch that says she doesn't even come in this room when you call for her. That should prove something."

"What?" asked a still-smiling Percival. "That you are good at swords but bad at wagering? ……All right then, I'll take that bet. One-hundred for your Yumi, 100 for my Chris, the same for Jacques' Aila, and the same for Miss Lilly! Ha, I shall most definitely win this bet!" Borus shook hands with Percival, completely determined to upstage his friend, and Fred, who had been paying little attention, took the wager as well (though he detested gambling, especially when other people were part of the wager). Jacques merely sat there, wondering how he ever got involved in the bet. He had never once mentioned the Karayan archer during the conversation.

Percival and Borus each called Louis to be their messenger, while Fred had Rico as his, and Jacques asked Joker (whom, out of all the members of the defense force, he trusted best to relay the message without altering it), though he didn't seem to care. Louis, Rico, and Joker gave each other a weary look, and ambled off to the outer hall, where Chris and most of the other women were. Louis gave them his usual innocent smile, charming several of the younger ones, and relayed his message.

"Lady Chris, Miss Yumi, Borus and Percival asked me to come get you. They're asking for you in the bar."

"Oh, dear…" sighed Yumi. "I would love to go, but Yuiri has precedence over your request. I promised her that we would go hunting in a few minutes, as soon as I am ready. Please tell him that I am sorry."

"Oh, I see…" murmured Louis. His hopeful boyish face turned towards Chris, who also had bad news to relay.

"Percival should know that we knights have a training schedule soon. Leo, Roland, and Salome are already preparing themselves. I may have to reprimand their forgetfulness later." Louis gave her a nervous grin that expressed his humor and dread all in one, and shyly turned back and went into the bar to give the bad news. The disbelieving shouts from both knights could have been heard by Eike.

"Uhhh…" Joker let out a cough and pointed his thumb towards the door as he spoke to Aila. "Jacques was… uh… asking for you…"

"…He was?" Aila tilted her head in confusion, and gave her chin a good rub. "That's odd. He's never done that before. I'd like to know what he wants, but I promised Yumi and Yuiri that I would join them. Nothing personal; I just think oaths take precedence over curiosity."

"Yeah…" Joker shrugged, and went back into the bar to tell Jacques the bad (?) news. He didn't seem to care. Rico, the last one left standing, bowed her head humbly and spoke to Lilly.

"Yes, Miss Lilly! Master Fred has been asking for you as well! Shall I tell him that you're not coming?" Lilly gave the young porter a confused look.

"What? Fred asked for me? What makes you think I wouldn't come?"

"Well, nobody else would, and…"

"They're just a bunch of ungrateful brutes!" she snapped, and before she could offend anybody else, Lilly stormed into the bar and screeched at Borus and Percival. "You morons! What could you be thinking?! None of your so-called loves have come to your call, but I wonder why that is? Are you treating them well? Are you giving them what they need and want? Are they your shining diamond, the one you would work tirelessly for, and sail the seas for, and DIE for? You're so stupid!"

No response came.

"And don't even get me _started_ about the girls!" she pointed. "Okay, so they made a few promises, and they have schedules, but they could have at least told you about it to your face! What kind of woman never talks to a man when something important's come up? It would have been common courtesy to at least TELL you about anything!

"Luckily," she added with a grin, "I'm willing to take time out of my schedule and visit Sir Fred here. _He_ knows how to treat a lady, and I'm at least grateful enough to come see him in person, even for a little while!!" She stared at the gathered men at the tavern, and in fact broadened her range to give everyone a glare, and silence dominated the room for a long time. Nadir was severely tempted to applaud her performance.

"……Now _this_, my good gentlemen, is a woman!" exclaimed Fred. He stood up with a big grin on his face, and gave Lilly's hand a kiss. "What a woman indeed! We are all in courtship but only few in love, though I have to thank Percival for introducing this dove! Kiss me, Lilly, and we'll show these people how to honor and cherish each other!" Lilly eagerly complied, and gave Fred a big smooch right on his mouth.

Borus and Percival couldn't help but feel a little jealous.

Jacques, as always, had no comment.

**__**

Exeunt 


End file.
